o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
