I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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