That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
