3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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