I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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