Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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