everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
