Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
