just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
