I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
