question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
