just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
