Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
