whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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