She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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