Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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