ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
