how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
