Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize