Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
