He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
