He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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