I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
