We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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