Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
