Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
