Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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