Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
