Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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