I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
