Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
