how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
