Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dignity is for republicans.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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