When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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