I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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