I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
