Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
