To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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