the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
