Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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