Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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