You made me cry and you don't even care
Porn is love you can see.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
