I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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