how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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