I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
