margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
