Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
