Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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