she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
