who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
