I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
